So it`s been a long time since I updated my blog. I totally forgot about it to be honest. I was stressed out, busy, got problems due to stress, busy, travelling, meeting friends, and trying to overcome my stress and trying to learn to cope with it. I think I did well. I think I got stronger.
Last semester feels like one vague … I don`t know what to call it, dark cloud?
I started participating in club activities. I decided to join a
band club. Which means playing an instrument in a band and participate in small concerts in live houses or in the school. I just participated in two. It was so much fun. I only remember standing there, with my keyboard a Senpai (senior) was so kind to lend me, and had fun standing on stage. I actually DO love standing on stage. I actually enjoy it. Same with dancing.
I also started finding a new dicrection regarding my research for my master thesis: literature written by Koreans living in Japan ( the `zainichi` Koreans). It was really nice to do and I really enjoy doing this.
I met a lot of new people and new good friends.
So where did things go wrong?
I think I kind of collapsed because of my self-image I`m trying to lay on me. I put too much pressure on myself, wanting to be as good as everyone else. at least. And also
I don`t really say what I really want.
And actually… things weren`t going well between me and my boyfriend.. well, we broke up.
I just felt like I was held down, caged, unable to breathe. Not saying it
s my exs fault, not at all. I just didn`t love him anymore. I was living too much with my mind, rather than with my heart.
I gained a lot of wait due to emotional eating because of stress and anxiety.
I started dieting hard and going to the gym. I noticed going to the gym really helped me feeling good about myself. I ran as fast as i could and I felt like I ran the stress away.
I started eating more healthy food, making more food myself, I even tried eating vegan and I really felt the best eating that way so I kind of continue that now. Though, I`m very easygoing on this one. Step by step.
I also saw my family, travelled with them, went on school trip after that.
So this was a quick update, kind of personal, but I feel better writing it.
So my plans for now are to continue updating this blog with my activities as an exchange student from now on! Things will get busy!! I hope I`m ready to handle it!